CAROL BURNSIDE / ANNIE RAYBURN

Last night it’s like 1:00 a.m. and I hear barking. Excited yippy barking. I mute the TV and go searching for the source. My dogs are kenneled and asleep. The noise is coming from my front porch.

I turn on the porch light and investigate. It’s Ammo, the neighbor’s puppy and he’s found something. Terrified it’s a skunk, I ease open the door and yell at him to go home. He’s reluctant, but I think I startled him so he complies. Good dog, Ammo.

But what had he found? Through the crack in the door, I hear grunts and earth is moving. Actually, spraying is more accurate. But the animal is behind a brick pillar. I can’t see what it is. Pretty sure a skunk wouldn’t be making those noises, I ease out the door and peek. Dang pillar is blocking the light. I dash off to get a flashlight and am back again.

Scaly long tapered tail, armor. Whew! It’s only a small armadillo stupidly trying to dig under my bricked in walkway. The idiot cannot achieve that, so it turns to the side, digging into my flower bed, forms a nice deep hidey-hole (making an ungodly mess of my porch and walkway in the meantime) and hides.

Now I don’t know if this is a female looking for somewhere to lay eggs, or if it’s just trying to escape the neighbor’s puppy, but me and the armadumbo are gonna have war tomorrow if it lingers in my flower bed. Guaranteed.