Someone pulled the rug out from under me!

Posted on February 13, 2005 by Annie Rayburn/Carol Burnside

I know this will be cryptic. I can’t help it. Forgive me, okay? All will become clear with time.

You know that old saying “Can’t see the forest for the trees?” Well, I think that where my writing is concerned, I can’t even see the trees. My CP Linda and I were talking tonight about how we can’t even tell anymore if what we’ve written is semi-brilliant or (as Linda puts it) canal water.

I look at the two manuscripts I’ve written and I think they need work. Maybe major work. It’s discouraging. I hate re-doing work. When I used to make my own clothes, I was careful to measure precisely before I cut the fabric. I didn’t want to have to re-make anything, or have to rip out seams and start over. For me, writing is the same. So being the world-class procrastinator that I am, I’ve put off revising those two manuscripts. I read them and I just know the plots are weak, the characters not charasmatic enough – something must be wrong that I’m incapable of seeing. After all, I–Miss Spreadsheet wielding, list making, anal-retentive writer that I am–don’t plot much. I do some pre-writing, yes. But past that, I don’t see complete movies of my books in my head (must be nice, Linda). I don’t work off of a complete synopsis either. The characters lead me through their story,and it drives me BONKERS at times! I’m trying to do better with each book, trying to find the method that works best. Why? Because I’m a control freak.

Don’t get me wrong. Neither of those manuscripts are without changes from when the words were first strung together. I am in a constant state of revision as I write because, psychologically, I’m still on the first draft, so it’s okay to fix, tweak, layer–whatever you want to call it. But it’s NOT revising. Got it?

As validation goes, I sold a short story, so I think I’ve got potential. All isn’t hopeless. I’ve started a new WIP and have other works in progress as well. One thing I’m not is a prolific writer, but I’m hanging in there, plugging away at it when the muse is cooperative. Agonizing when she’s not. Still, everything is cool. I’ve got a loose idea of a 5-year plan and I’m only 2 yrs in. There’s still time to perfect all this.

Linda has had not 1, but 2 requests from Agents lately. One for a partial, one for a full. She’s going places, and soon. I believe that. As for me, I’ve still got my 5-year plan, right? My turn will come in a couple years. I don’t have enough manuscripts built up. I don’t feel I’ve written enough to have paid my dues.

But today someone validated my work in a totally unexpected way. SPLAT! (That was me on the floor, sans rug.) Suddenly I have to reassess. What if my 5-year plan to publication is cut short? What if the message this person gave me turns into something I’ve been wanting, but was afraid to expect? Even worse, what if it turns out to be just a fluke and nothing comes of it after I’ve had to do all this reassessment?

I can’t see whether the words I’m stringing together on the screen are worthy of publication or not. Where’s that darn rug, anyway?

Posted in Annie Rayburn, Carol Burnside, Everyday blather, Here at home | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Lightbulb moment

Posted on February 9, 2005 by Annie Rayburn/Carol Burnside

You know how sometimes you can look at something over and over and never see anything new, but one day -BAM!- you see it with a totally different view. A clarity of thought, if you will.

That happened to me a few days ago. I’d been talking to the Blaze authors on a Cataromance forum and was seriously considering writing for that line, since my efforts with Am. Romance and Special Edition just didn’t FEEL right. Like the safe-cracker listening for that last tumbler to fall into place, I hadn’t heard the “click” saying it was okay to open the door.

I’d convinced myself that I should at least try to write longer books and that HAR and SSE were good choices because I like babies and children in my stories. I’m from the South and community involvement I could do, too. So I wrote. Two books, and neither of them felt right. But in talking to the Blaze authors and gleaning what I could about the requirements of the line, I started noticing subtle differences from the other Passion lines, Temptation and Desire.

Another thing that should have been a ‘duh, ya think?’ moment for me a long time ago was that I read the Passion lines more than any other in category romance. I believe that with new love also comes intense sexual desire and lovemaking – a natural fit for those lines. Anyway, I sat down at my computer, printed off all the notes I’d taken over the last 2 yrs on Blaze, Tempts and Desires. Then I compared, back and forth, making notes. I thought about the last book I’d read, Awaken To Pleasure by Nalini Singh. I loved the intensity of feeling in it and the deep feelings during the love scenes. Both characters had to overcome intensely emotional roadblocks before they could give freely of themselves to the other.

CLICK – (lightbulb moment!)

Got my work cut out for me now. I may scrap FKOG. Can’t decide. But I believe TRG can definitely be revised to fit the Desire line, so all may not be lost. We’ll see when I get deep into the revision process. Other ideas are crowding in and I’m jotting them down. Some may make it to a book, others probably not. Inside me, there’s a little imp turning cartwheels, laughing with the gleeful happiness of a child. Maybe, just maybe, I’ve found my niche. 🙂

Posted in Carol Burnside, Everyday blather, submissions | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Sending out my babies

Posted on February 8, 2005 by Annie Rayburn/Carol Burnside

Last week I shot off an e-mail submitting “Mr. Dependable” to A Hint of Seduction e-zine. (Ever notice I’m not too hot at coming up with titles?)

Gina was nice enough to let me know it will be a few weeks before I get a response, and I appreciate that. She said she’d gotten quite a few submissions lately. Well, yeah. I guess she would. There’s precious few places that we romance writers can submit short stories and that’s a real shame. Even fewer places that will actually pay you for the story. Those that do seem to be glutted with submissions, everybody desperately trying for publication.

Arabella closing its doors didn’t help that sector of the industry any. I was sad to see it go. It was a very professionally done mag and was a credit to the romance genre over all, IMO.

Posted in Carol Burnside, Everyday blather, Stupid Stuff, submissions | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Sending out my babies